Every conversation with my mother EVER.
why put cookie dough in the oven when you can put it in your mouth
because I don’t want salmonella….
then don’t eat salmon….
people who scream when the teacher turns off the lights
me when i miss my flight
How in the heavens is that a failed stunt jump
omg i just realized why mario and luigi are red and green
how i didn’t see that i’m so stupid